**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
