walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
