I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
