Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
PANTIES FOUND
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