I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
