i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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