the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
