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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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