Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Shame is for Republicans.
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