On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
