So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
