She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
