every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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