Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
