We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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