just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
