All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you win again, gameday.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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