yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
