i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you had me at cake vodka
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
