I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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