I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
