Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
