i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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