Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.

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(650): View more from California

Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.

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(251): View more from Alabama

if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.

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(317): View more from Indiana

So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.

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(936): View more from Texas

Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.

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(315): View more from New York

HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA

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