Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
