oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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