I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
