Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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