You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
