Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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