Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
