i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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