He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
