Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
