Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
