Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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