dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
