I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
