I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
