He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
