Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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