Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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