Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
