just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize