We're like a lot better than the average bears
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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