this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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