Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
