ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
