it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
