They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i will never coherently bang her
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
