Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
