So drunk, too bad you don't want this
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
