I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
