He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
