she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
