no. you can't hotbox the world.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
