it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
