a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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