did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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