my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize