I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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