Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state

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(212): View more from New York

dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?

(1-212): View more from New York

idk but i think it had a face

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(818): View more from California

She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?

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(310): View more from California

This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I wish they made people sized litter boxes.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.

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