Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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