She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
sex in a hospital.. check
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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