Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I looked at my own cervix.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
